Nicole A. Tone – Let’s find her a real man!
Well folks, we’re doing something totally brand new here on the official MonkeySquasher site:
WE ARE GETTING INTO THE MATCH MAKING BUSINESS!!!
And let me tell you all why!
Since we profiled Ian, it’s come to me that he’s a childish, team killing, sniveling little bitch and his wife is, well, intelligent, educated, good looking…pretty much every damn thing Ian isn’t.
It just doesn’t seem fair at all to her, does it?
OF COURSE IT ISN’T!
I mean, do you really think this dopey looking shit-for-brains:
Deserves a woman that looks like this:
OF COURSE HE DOESN’T!!!
Especially when that fucking idiot sits up all night team killing people on a free-to-play pixel plane game rather than spending time with his very lovely wife! Shit, he should be dragged out back and bitch slapped. What the fuck is he thinking?!?!
Well, it’s obvious he’s not.
BUT WAIT!!! THERE’S MORE!!!
This is no ordinary hottie. She’s got fucking brains too!!! I shit you not folks, check out this CV:
- BA in Creative Writing and Literature
- Master of Fine Arts degree from the Savannah College of Art & Design
- Published Author
- Editor in Chief at Magnolia Press
And our resident asshat Ian is up all night playing fucking video games and building bullshit websites.
And just so we’re being fair here and not selective on Ian looking like a total dipshit, here’s a few shots taken from multiple sources that prove pretty much no matter what the setting, he looks like a dipshit:
So here’s what we’re going to do, sports fans and fellow space travelers – let’s vote on whether or not she should dump this fucking prick and get herself a real man that would actually appreciate her. Cast your votes:
We’re going to let this run for a while and see what you all think, then we’ll move on to phase 2.